The baby will be the best gift of all.
Baby showers are foreign terrain for people who've never experienced one before--which can be a problem for the host, the guests and the expectant mother. The good news is that a baby shower is easy to plan and attend once the basic customs are understood.
Hosting the Baby Shower
Baby showers for expectant mothers are traditionally hosted by close friends, coworkers, siblings or mothers, who will be in charge of the planning, decorating, refreshments and the bill. The shower may be held before or after the baby is born, but most people opt to have it 1 to 2 months prior to the due date. Invitations should be sent out 3 to 4 weeks in advance, with a "Regrets Only" RSVP requested 2 weeks in advance. Directions to the location and gift registry information should also be provided with the invite. Acceptable locations for a baby shower include the hostess's home, a restaurant, a hotel, or a church or fellowship hall. Usually a theme is selected for the decorations, such as princesses (for girls), sports (for boys), zoo animals, nesting birds or teddy bears.
Typically, a baby shower is expected to last approximately two hours. When the guests arrive, the host is expected to greet them at the door. Snacks and beverages are usually served first, which may include coffee, tea, soft drinks and juice, taco dips, vegetables, fruits, tortilla chips, cheese, crackers, mini pizzas, candy and other finger foods.
Then sometimes shower games are played to help everyone get to know each other better, although it's not necessary. "The Price Is Right" can be played to have guests guess how much a pack of Pampers or baby booties cost. Another game--"How Well Do You Know the Mom-to-Be"--has guests speculate which traits the expectant mother wants her baby to inherit from her and from her husband (for example, hair, eyes, smile, nose, ears, intelligence, attitude, humor). They'll then compare their notes with the expectant mother's actual answers. "Guess the Baby Pictures" is a fun game, where baby photos of all guests are made into a collage, but this requires a little extra forethought. For "Baby Bingo," the host will number all the presents and pass out bingo boards with the number of squares based on the number of guests; as the expectant mother picks each gift, a number will be called out and the guests will try to get a straight line to win. These are just a few of many options, but hosts should be conscientious that the games don't take up too much time or appear too ridiculous. Games measuring the mother-to-be's tummy should also be avoided.
Next, main dishes and desserts are doled out. Chicken, roast beef, potatoes, veggies, pasta salad, green salad, ambrosia and tuna salad are some popular dishes to try. It's also a good idea to have a few vegetarian selections available. Usually the food is made by the host and a few delegated guests, although sometimes the food may be catered to make things easier.
The expectant mother will then open her gifts while the audience "oohs" and "aahs" and a family member writes down a record of who bought what (for thank-you cards later). Before guests leave, baby shower favors should be given out to everyone. Edible or practical favors are usually the best choice. Picture frames, baby cookie cutters, flower pots with flowers, pin cushions, homemade chocolates, cookies and coffee mugs are all viable ideas.
Attending the Baby Shower
If guests cannot make the baby shower, they should let the host know at least two weeks in advance. Unless stated otherwise, women should not bring children, husbands/boyfriends or other people with them. Guests who can't make it are not responsible for sending a gift in their absence, although it's considered a polite gesture.
Most people spend around $25 on shower gifts, unless they are wealthy or a very close relative or friend. There are many different angles to approach gift giving. There are practical gifts, like high chairs, baby monitors, bottles, bibs, diaper bags and car seats. There are cutesy gifts, usually clothing, books, blankets and homemade gifts. There are special gifts, maid service for a month, a gift certificate for baby pictures or a growth chart, for instance. Some guests like to put together their own gift baskets of little essential items, while others prefer just one big item.
Expectations for the Expectant Mother
Prior to the shower, expectant parents will need to visit a store like "Kids R Us" or "Target" to choose items they would like to receive for their newborn. In the past, gift registries were considered taboo, but they've gained tremendous popularity over the years, and many partygoers are appreciative of the heads-up. Expectant parents will want to make sure the items cover a wide range of prices for all budgets.
Deciding who to invite can sometimes be challenging. To make it easier, traditionally, men are not invited to the showers, but co-ed showers aren't totally unheard of. Often the dads-to-be make a cameo appearance at the end of the shower to pick up and transport the gifts and briefly say "hello" to everyone. It's up to the expectant mother, whether she would like children present or not. A polite way of discouraging children would be to write on the invitation: "Hire a sitter and meet us there at 1 p.m."
While the hostess will be in charge of the planning, expectant mothers may want to do a little research of their own. For instance, it's not uncouth for moms-to-be to make suggestions on food, customary party favors or party games (if there are any at all).
Usually showers are only thrown for the first child, since it's assumed the mother has most of the essentials covered already. However, it's becoming more popular to hold intimate parties, inviting close family and friends, for subsequent babies. Showers for adopted babies are perfectly acceptable as well.
At the shower, new moms are expected to greet guests and make any necessary introductions. Once everyone has arrived, she may make a welcoming announcement and let everyone know the order in which the events will proceed so guests know what to expect. She should be sure to thank everyone at the time, even though cards will be sent out later.
Tags: baby shower, expectant mother, expectant mother, weeks advance, Baby Shower